Oh this so unfair it seemed so normal at the store how do we even know when the apples are good or bad COME ON, APPLE don’t make me look like a fool I BELIEVED IN YOU, APPLE, WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO PLACES TOGETHER, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SOMEBODY, SOMETHING, IT, I DUNNO, YOU SEEMED FUNNY AND SELF-AWARE IN A WAY FEW PEOPLE ARE THESE DAYS OKAY I MEAN EVERYBODY IS THESE DAYS THAT’S PRETTY MUCH A THING NOW ISN’T IT, “THIS IS ME, HERE IS MY BULLSHIT, ENJOY,” IS THAT NOT HOW EVERYONE OPERATES LATELY- IDEALIZING NEUROTICISM TO SUCH A DEGREE THAT WE FALL IN LOVE WITH OUR VERY INABILITY TO LET EACH OTHER IN, BECOMING COMPASSIONATE TO A FAULT, FAMILIARIZING TO A FAULT, WRITING LATE-NIGHT MISSIVES TO NO ONE IN PARTICULAR BUT EVERYONE IN GENERAL, WINDING THROUGH CLEVER TURNS OF PHRASE TO OBFUSCATE THE VERY THING THAT WILL SAVE US, THE VERY THING WE REFUSE TO SEE, REFUSE TO WRITE ABOUT, TO SAY TO EACH OTHER, TO BLOG: THAT WE WERE WRONG, THAT WE WERE BAD FOR EACH OTHER, THAT WE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN UP A REALLY LONG TIME AGO.
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Um. This is genius and hilarious and exactly how I feel about almost every apple I’ve ever dated, ahem, picked up at the grocery store.
Apples these days [epic eye roll accompanied by exasperated groan] … amiright?
